My baby brother...

It has been a hard week swallowing the news that my baby brother of 19 years has seriously relapsed in his hard fighting sober years of drug using. Hearing the news over the phone and reading the late night emails has brought emotions and thoughts of the horrors that ravage my intermediate and extended family in the last 6 years.

Naturally and for a long time, I was used to these little relapsed as if they were "hic-ups" and a few weeks later, everything would turn out well without much attention or shock to the world that surrounds him. But this relapse incident is no longer an incident, it was bang, a climax, a scene from a big action movie where the audience was unsure what the consequences or what will happen next.

I hated the fact that I heard that we may lose him. He may be going down a short path like Anakin Skywalker when he was seduced to the "Dark Side of the Force". Yes, I know that Darth Vader is the biggest villian ever to be selected in the world of movies but having thoughts of my baby brother turning into such person? It was the hardest feeling I have to take in thinking that I may actually lose my baby brother who I spent most of my dear life being a big brother and his best friend who always cared about him.

I was a big brother who wanted him to be in all the sports teams.I was a big brother who want him to be the best. I was a big brother who had the motivation and compassion to be there like Earl Woods watching his son "Tiger" swing golf balls beating out the competition. Sports such as Basketball, football, hockey, baseball, wrestling, golf, boxing, and every other sport that he could try and excel to the best of his ability.

The thought of failure consumes me like a windy Kansas tornado cloud rapidly covers me from head to toe thinking "What could I have done?"

I love him sooo much that writing this blog entry does brings soft tears running down my cheeks and sliding down my neck while my shaky hands tremble on the keyboard. The emotions and thoughts of the great life that we both used to share flashes back into your mind tries to overcome the reality of the dark side that steered our course in the last 6 years.

Living in Vietnam has not help my situation as I am suffering from an open wound that I expected that sometime would be fully closed and I could return to the days of peace and tranquility that was the driving force of a brotherhood relationship.

My initial reaction was to take a leave of absence from my work and depart for Canada to offer my big brother love to tell him that I am still there in your heart as Scotty who always, always, always will be your big brother regardless. Fighting with the reality of powerless and mental health, this event may not happen for many days to come.

The streets of Mui Ne...

Tonight Minh Nguyet and I will travel down to HCMC and spend one night in the hotel before we head out to the east coast. We will be taking the Train in the morning from HCMC to a small town called Phan Thiet which is an economical and logistic hub for one of the famous beaches in Vietnam. Within a 20 minute drive we will be relaxing and reading books on a beach called Mui Ne watching the ocean and the waves crashing into the shore living its mark in mother nature. Mui Ne beach is known to be a tourist area for the American GI who took a break from the fighting against the the Northern Communist Viet Cong Army. I just found out today that Tiger Woods's father who was an Army commander spend some of his luxious holidays in Mui Ne so we hope to enjoy what it has to offer.

Another key note for this blog is that Happy Liberation day for Vietnam in their success against the Americans in 1975.

Why the f@#$ am I out here guarding this truck full of cheesecake?

The best war journalism puts its audience in close proximity to combat. It's hard to imagine getting closer than The War Tapes does.

Shot by soldiers on consumer-grade digital video cameras, the documentary offers an immersive, sobering and often shocking slice of life (and death) in Iraq. It premieres this week at the Tribeca Film Festival and opens in select cities this summer.

Director Deborah Scranton described War Tapes as the result of a "virtual embed." She gave cameras to 10 Iraq-bound soldiers, and then used e-mail and instant messaging to provide them with advice on technique and technical issues.

By the end of their yearlong tour of duty, the soldiers, all from New Hampshire's National Guard, had sent Scranton 800 hours of what she considered thoughtful, often beautifully shot, footage.

"They became journalists," Scranton said. "This isn't like soldiers making home movies. This was a process, a conscious effort for us to together tell the experience of what it means to go to war."

Most of the footage, including hours of road shots, was mundane. But with their cameras constantly rolling, the soldiers captured plenty of revealing and terrifying moments of the kind a drop-in journalist couldn't.

In one scene, soldiers are caught in a firefight. The camera spins wildly while we hear the harrowing cries of "Man down! Man down!" In another, GIs are ambushed during the siege of Fallujah. They chase down and kill the insurgents, then photograph and film the corpses.

And upon arriving on the scene of a vicious car bombing in Taji, an obviously shaken Steve Pink, one of the film's three main subjects, continued to film.

"We made the news," said Pink while watching CNN footage of the bombing later that night. "I feel exploited and proud at the same time."

Frontline producer Martin Smith said TV coverage of Iraq has been severely constrained by war's danger and unpredictability.

"It's so unlike any other war, and I've heard this from people who covered Vietnam," said Smith, who has been to Iraq four times since the U.S. invasion and is preparing for a trip to Afghanistan. "There is no place you can retreat from the danger. Print journalists and photojournalists are relying heavily on Iraqi and Arab stringers to do the work."

The film is another example of participatory journalism, Smith said, made possible by cheap cameras and the growing number of people who know how to use them.

With the Pentagon shutting down unauthorized blogs, it's no surprise that some of the footage shot for the film didn't survive the military's vetting process. One confiscated tape included a graphic scene from the Fallujah firefight.

But plenty of mind-blowing content did find its way into War Tapes, thanks mostly to its filmmakers' unprecedented access.

"I'm not supposed to talk to the media," one soldier said when Pink tried to interview him. "I'm not the media, dammit!" Pink replied.

Sgt. Zack Bazzi, another of the film's three main subjects, paid little mind to the camera while on patrol. In an interview with Wired News, he said he'd strap Scranton's Sony PC109 camera onto the dash of his Humvee and then go about his business.

"Sooner or later you forget about it," he said. "Especially in a combat situation, when there are many different things you worry about -- the soldiers I'm in charge of, possible bad guys out there on the road.

"I'd be crossing the ethical boundaries if I acted a certain way in front of the camera instead of focusing my full attention on leading my men and accomplishing my mission. The behavior you see is genuine."

As a result, War Tapes feels far more raw and political than network coverage. One of its main targets is KBR, a Halliburton-owned military contractor that the soldiers suspect of war profiteering.

"Why the fuck am I out here guarding this truck full of cheesecake?" asked Mike Moriarty, another of the film's central subjects. "The priority of KBR making money outweighs the priority of our safety."

But War Tapes is no Michael Moore rant. Scranton said one of her main goals was to deepen and complicate our conception of the war, not politicize it.

Bazzi thinks the film succeeds in providing a more nuanced portrait of Iraq and of the soldiers fighting there.

"Are things rosy? Are there butterflies flying around little squirrels and people hugging us?" he said. "No. But are we killing babies and destroying the whole country? Absolutely not.

The Silence Protest

Something caught my eye this morning... I will let your eyes decipher it's connotation.

Manifestación pública de protesta por la exterminación de animales para la fabricación de prendas de piel.

Barcelona, 01.21.2006

Flames Burn Ducks With Three-Goal Barrage To Take Series Lead

(Sports Network) - Kristian Huselius registered a goal and two assists as the Calgary Flames defeated the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim, 5-2, at the Pond to take a 2-1 lead in their best-of-seven Western Conference quarterfinal. Game 4 will be played Thursday in Anaheim.

Robyn Regehr tallied a goal and an assist and Miikka Kiprusoff made 27 saves for Calgary, which won in Anaheim for just the second time in its last 14 tries. Daymond Langkow, Chuck Kobasew and Darren McCarty added goals for the Flames.

"The first couple of games we were a little tight," said Flames captain Jarome Iginla. "Tonight we were more relaxed, more determined and enjoying the playoffs. This is what it's all about."

Francois Beauchemin scored both of the Ducks' goals and Scott Niedermayer added two assists but Jean-Sebastien Giguere stopped 19 shots for Anaheim, which gave up three power-play goals.

"We have no room for mistakes next game or throughout the rest of the series," said Giguere. "We have nothing to lose. We have overcome challenges before during the season and this will be no different."

Calgary drew first blood with 5:59 left in the opening frame while on the man advantage when Langkow beat Giguere top shelf with a wrister from the left circle for a 1-0 lead.

Anaheim answered with 2:34 left in the first period while on the power play after Beauchemin beat Kiprusoff top shelf with a one-timer from the right point to make it 1-1.

Calgary regained the lead 1:25 into the second period while on the man advantage when Huselius poked a rebound past Giguere's glove side for a 2-1 lead.

The Ducks netted the equalizer 8:16 into the middle stanza after Beauchemin beat Kiprusoff glove side with a one-timer from the high slot to make it 2-2.

Calgary, however, scored the next three goals to establish a commanding lead.

The Flames took the lead for good with 4:26 left in the second period when Kobasew's wrister squirted through Giguere's five hole for a 3-2 advantage.

Calgary upped its lead 4:59 into the final frame when McCarty stuffed the disc past Giguere glove side along the ice for a 4-2 lead. The Flames capped the scoring less than a minute later while on the power play after Regehr beat Giguere stick side with a wrister from the left circle to make it 5-2.

Game Notes

For the first time in its eight playoff series, Anaheim played Game 3 with the series tied...The home club had won all four meetings during the regular season...Giguere fell to 16-7 in 23 career playoff outings...Calgary finished 3-for-7 on the power play, while Anaheim went 2-for-9.

Someone got to die before action is taken...

"April 6 2003. I have been shot at, gassed, chased by soldiers, had sound grenades thrown within metres of me, been hit by falling debris and been in the way of a 10-tonne D-9 that didn't stop. As we approached, I kept expecting a part of my body to be hit by an 'invisible' force and shot of pain. It took a huge amoung of will to continue. I wondered what it would be like to be shot, and strangely I wasn't too scared. It is strange to know that each night people are shot and killed for breaking military curfew, and in the darkness on the north west side there is an Israeli settlement and a few hundred metres away with military snipers in between and any one of the four of us could be being watched through a sniper's sights at this moment. The certainty is that they are watching, and it is in the decision of any one Israeli soldier or settler that my life depends. I know that I'd probably never know what hit me, but it's part of the job to be as visible as possible." Five days after he wrote these words, Tom Hurndall was shot by Israeli forces and later died.

Click here to read the rest of this article...

It's not always about the locals...

Just a few days ago I had my wallet stolen. It was my fault as I thought I was not careful enough to protect it from being picked pocketed.

Minh Nguyet and I went shopping for some jeans that I wanted to get for my baby brother in my upcoming trip to Canada. While I was trying on some jeans, I came out with my wallet in my hand and show her that the jeans fit. I then went back and tried on the second pair and this time left my wallet in the first new pair that I wanted to buy. Went I went back in to change into my original pair of jeans, I realized that my wallet was gone.

I told Minh Nguyet what happened and it was too late because the Vietnamese people in the store are not going to help. After talking with the manager about what happened, they flipped the blame on us for accusing them for not taking care of the customer.

This incident certainly hurts lots because part of my salary from March was in there along with my UNIS ID card, credit card, debit card, receipts from Singapore, etc... Indeed not a good day for me. Even now, I refuse to go on that street because of that incident.

Just the other day, we were driving on the highway out to the countryside to visit Minh Nguyet's grandfather's grave we had to slow down in the traffic as a fatality just happened 100 meters of us. Well guess what? Out of my own eyes, I saw two pickpockers working in between the motorbike traffic stealing wallets and purses from drivers as they slowly move around the accident scene. They were slowly opening personal bags, grabbing the money and then throwing them into a big garbage container next to the road. I saw one in action, and I screamed what the F@#$ are you doing? The one pick pocketer stopped his action and started screaming at me in Vietnamese and walked off. We then later drove up to a victim and told her that she been picked pocketed and her wallet already in the garbage cleaned out. She was shocked!!!

A good thing that Minh Nguyet stopped me from getting off the motorbike to confront the pick pocketer because I would have ended up in more trouble because people will lie and if you don't know the language, it will not help to resolve the situation.

I took a day or two to reflect on these incidents because it was the third pick pocketing within weeks of each other that was involved or close to. I had to ask myself why these events are spreading like wild fire and you are so hopeless or powerless to do something about it.

I can easily blame the pick pockets and label them as common criminals who are in desperation for money. The local Vietnamese people residing in these dangerous areas are lurking on the streets in broad daylight taking advantage of others because of their desperation for money. The question of why has crossed my mind and it is clear that their background has been unstable and rough that they have to turn to crime to fulfill their poor lifestyle or drug habits.

On the other hand, why was no one doing anything about it? It was sooo clear that 20 other motorbike people saw what was happening but no one did a thing about it? Why Why Why? What happen to the principles of respect, kindness, caring, and good heart for one another? After all you are the same race, come from the same background, same countryside and even perhaps from the same family.

Why did someone not contact the police? Why did someone not scream that your neighbor's wallet getting picked pocketed? Why did anyone not do anything?

I just realized that I am living in a culture that is very closed and its about keeping everything inside and restricting the amount of information to others. When it comes to helping someone else, it has no relevant value to do so. Just simply continue with your unhappy and hopeless lives knowing sooner or later someone going to take advantage of you when you least expect it.

Everyone is poor, the gap between the rich and the poor is very big, the police don't care because they are getting paid s@$% wages and they turn to corruption to increase their salaries. The government claims they are fighting corruption but in reality they are fighting with themselves protecting their corrupted investments and salaries.

I said to Minh Nguyet, it going to be a long time before Vietnam stabilize and become an attractive country to do business with. Yes, everyday something changes but until the government acts for their people instead of themselves, both locals and foreigners will still have to suffer from such day to day crimes and dishonesty until non-corrupted law enforcement enters the society.

Another strong thought that brought me tears is that I have met many good Vietnamese people who are optimistic and are motivated for something better in their lives. They have realized that their country is in chaos and want out because there is no hope and faith in their own government for them to have a protected and prosperous future. While we have ambitious people in one side of the world, Its not fair that people in my own country who are complete slackers and take advantage of the western culture system not realizing that there are people who are suffering from corruption, lack of food, lack of shelter, lack of clean water and importantly the lack of hope that their lives will improve despite their impoverish conditions.

Streaming Eagle Web Cam

A family relative email me a streaming Eagle Web Cam that is open 24 hours. Click here to check it out.

If you think you are having a bad day...

Check out this hilarious video from the internet. Click here.