Thursday, October 26, 2006

Return to Canada

The trip to Canada was long as the airplane flight from Hong Kong to Vancouver was over 14 hours long. Moon was thrilled at the fact that she never been off the Asia Continent so it was nice to see her joyful face as she looks into the unknown.

Arriving into Vancouver was pleasant for me as it was like my second home. I been flying for a long time so the Vancouver Airport has become a common place for me to pass through. The buildings, the Queen Charlotte Island architecture, and the fresh brew of Starbucks fills the atmosphere. For Moon, it was like another world to her as the speed of life, industrialization and the sounds of english language greeted her as she stepped off the Cathay Pacific 747.

Meeting the Canadian Immigration officer was an interesting story and nervous threat to our welcoming into Canada. I made the mistake of adding Moon to my arrival immigration card as I thought she can be labeled on the same card as we are staying together in the same household in Calgary. Officer Chris (remembered from the name tag) drilled us with questions in a direct rude like matter:
  1. "Where are you from sir?"
  2. "Where are you from Madam?"
  3. "What are you guys doing here?"
  4. "How did you guys meet?"
  5. "How long are you planning to stay in Canada?"
After dealing with these questions, I quietly let Moon know that they are just doing their job and they are SOOOO much more nicer than their American Counterparts.

After our quick 1.5 hour flight from Vancouver to Calgary, we had to wait for about 45 minutes until my mother arrived at the Airport. When I saw her, I began to cry as I have not seen her for years. The last time I went to Canada was in July of 2005 which makes it almost 1 1/2 years since I step in my own country. Such a long time indeed! We cried for a long time and eventually Moon and my mother's best friend joined us for a 4 way welcoming greeting hug!

It's so nice to be home again...

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Coming Home...

After many struggles in the last month, being sick, short staffed, stressed, I finally convince my boss that I really needed a break from work and return home to Canada.

It has been long over due with me missing many milestones and dates of friends, family and loved ones.

The excitement has not hit me yet but deep inside it's sure nice to know that I am going home...

Monday, September 04, 2006

The Crocodile Hunter became hunted...

Crikey!!

Steve Irwin (file image)
The naturalist worked to protect Australian wildlife

Australian environmentalist and television personality Steve Irwin has died during a diving accident.

Mr Irwin, 44, was killed by a stingray barb to the chest while he was filming an underwater documentary in Queensland's Great Barrier Reef.

Paramedics from the nearby city of Cairns rushed to treat him at the scene but were unable to save him.

Mr Irwin was known for his television show The Crocodile Hunter and his work with native Australian wildlife.

Police in Queensland confirmed the naturalist's death and said his family had been notified. Mr Irwin was married with two young children.

"It is believed that Mr Irwin collapsed after being stung by a stingray at Batt Reef off Port Douglas at about 11:00 am (0100 GMT)," a police statement quoted by AFP news agency said.

"His crew called for medical treatment and the Queensland medical helicopter responded, however Mr Irwin had died."

Documentaries

Mr Irwin had built up what was a small reptile park in Queensland into what is now Australia Zoo, a major centre for Australian wildlife.

Steve Irwin with his wife, Terri, in 1999
Mr Irwin's documentaries were shown around the world

He was famous for handling dangerous creatures such as crocodiles, snakes and spiders, and his documentaries on his work with crocodiles drew a worldwide audience.

But he also courted controversy with a series of stunts.

He sparked outrage across Australia after cradling his one-month-old son a metre away from the reptile during a show at Australia Zoo.

A probe was also launched to investigate whether Mr Irwin and his team interacted too closely with penguins and whales while filming in the Antarctic, but no action was taken.

Foreign Minister Alexander Downer praised Mr Irwin for his work to promote Australia.

"The minister knew him, was fond of him and was very, very appreciative of all the work he'd done to promote Australia overseas," Mr Downer's spokesman said.

Article from BBC International News...

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Employee Sick days?

My continuing bitching about employee productivity has taken another hit this week when my other IT techie has called in sick for 5 days because of a high fever.

WHAT!!!!

5 days for a fever? Oh come on... I had fevers, limping legs, cough, sputum in my saliva, 3 hour sleeps, pink eyes, deaf. etc... AND I still go to work and suffer from my illness...

Some how I am learning that something here are fabricated because they don't want to show up to work on the first day of school. The stress of new students and teachers asking for IT support can be difficult but CERTAINLY not worth skipping because you have a fever.

Unfortunately this Vietnamese employee is known to have lots of money and it's easy to identify that he is capable of doing such tasks to fabricate any situation. Honestly I want to ask for a second opinion but the days have passed and there is not much I can do about it.

As a rookie manager, this is the reality I am facing of working with employees who are not capable, who are not supportive, who are just there from 8:00 am to 5:00 pm. Punch your time sheet in and punch your time sheet out.

Does this mean aggression comes into play? Does this mean micro-management is needed?

Friday, August 18, 2006

Employee Turnover?

What a wacked up day I went through. I have been fighting the insults from upper management and juggling to complete the IT department's tasks before the weekend. The biggest challenge was that the new IT techie that I hired at the end of June will be quiting from UNIS Hanoi because he could not work with me. WHAT!!!!!

Who cannot possible work with me? Am I a crazy psyco manic who snort coke and smoke up weed all day turn into a raving lunatic boss who think he the best?

BUZZ... " Questions about Scot" for 100 ... Alex"

Anyway, to keep a long story short, I am without a strong hard working IT techie for the first day of school and leaving me without any help for when the students arrive back into campus.

mmm... time to dig out the resumes from the 1.5 month old dust...

Wonders of management...

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Patient Care...

While I am working in the trenches of Information Technology ER department at Unis Hanoi, I am indeed pulling 12-14 hours shift like hours, 7 days a week making sure that all my computer-patients are stable, on their medications and completing their treatment program before the school's opening on August 21, 2006.

In the real medical industry, an article in the LA times has shown me a big need for medical doctors as patient care is becoming more in demand. Click here to read the article.

mmm (scratching the hairs of wisdom).... I was studying pre-medicine... perhaps a time to think about finishing it.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Death

The idea of death, the fear of it, haunts the human animal like nothing else; it is a mainspring of human activity - designed largely to avoid the fatality of death, to overcome it by denying in some way that it is the final destiny of man.
My family back home in Canada has recently suffered the loss of a young family friend who recently passed on after his endless & continuous struggle against Drugs and Alcohol. I have known him on a personal level as well as a family level. The relations among all of us has brought us closer to the battlefronts of the disease and now God has him ensured that he is now living in a safer and better life.

This is not the first time my family has felt the shockwaves of death in the last 6 years of Drugs and Alcohol recovery as many young and older people from the program has entered God's sanctuary of happiness and peace.

I certainly hoped that every event has brought to us the harsh reality of the adversities and the depressions that we all suffer from and be able to take it what is granted and to make our lives better than what it is.

God has a plan for all of us. Sometimes this plan is to allow us to see the adversities first before finding that peace and happiness. God put us together with different people in different events because they are the ones who have messages to deliver. We must accept those people and events because if we don't, we have lost our will to fulfill our own destinies.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

may chu hong loi... AKA the dead @#$!ing server

What a crazy ass week of repairing servers. Every day this week I been working with the local hardware technician trying to trouble shoot my main server for the school. Replacing memory chips, motherboards, cables, hard drives has been the hourly diagnostic tool but nothing is working to recover this server that the school desperately needs when it starts on August 21st.

Finally on friday night at 5:30 after living in the sever room for 50 hours this week, we have no failures after 30 mintues of uptime and it's been going strong since. This is a cruical time to have this working because I got lots of work on my project list and teachers / management will return to the campus starting the first week of August.

Me wish the IT gods will be with me for the next two weeks. (the sound of biting nails)

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Webcams at their finest...

Click on the link and learn what NOT to do when talking with your boyfriend on the webcam...

Dating a Techie...


This morning, I found an amusing article about women dating techie guys:

Written by: Emily Hambidge (Editor of Maczealots)







I like to think that behind every good developer there is a good woman. No. A great woman. It takes a special breed to put up with the stuff that comes along with dating a computer nerd. Those of you who have ever been with a hard core geek know what I’m talking about. Some day I think it would be easier to date one of those guys who hangs out at the golf course all day with his buddies drinking beer. :-)

This weekend I drove up from Nashville to see Justin. I knew he was busy with a Web development project, but I have dealt with that stuff before so it was no big deal. This particular project was for the Rails Day contest. This contest went from midnight on Friday to midnight on Saturday. While he was working I did some MacZealots work, caught up on sleep, cleaned the apartment and did the laundry. While I was folding some shirts I got to thinking about what life with a developer is like. I thought I would share my thoughts with you.

I started pondering this while I was doing the laundry because I noticed that 9 out of the 10 t-shirts I was folding were development or Mac related. Just to give you a general idea of what I’m talking about (and the embarrassment I have to deal with when we go out in public) let me describe a few of them. First, I ran across one that read “Steve Jobs is my homeboy.” Then there was the one that said “I am blogging this.” Next was a WWDC 2004 polo and an Apple Developer Connection shirt. And my personal favorite was the one that said “Code Different.” I couldn’t make this up if I tried.

I am used to all this stuff, and I adore Justin because of it, but what about girls who aren’t used to this sort of thing? What about the poor innocent souls who think they are getting a normal guy and then come to find out he has been sucked into the chaotic world of development? What about the little girls who dream of Prince Charming and end up with Steve Ballmer? What about the girls who never even dreamed they would know who Steve Ballmer is? I think someone needs to offer them a little advice. Seeing that I am a seasoned professional who has been dating a developer since I was 15, I think there is no one better than me to show them the way.

Following are 10 things you need to know when dating a developer (or any kind of techie.)

1. **When projects have a deadline approaching, all plans are tentative.**

I don’t care if you sister is getting married or your grandmother dies. If your man has a project with a quickly approaching deadline forget about him being there. This has nothing to do with lack of support, and it is by no means a jab at the guys. It is simply a matter of dedication. I have tried setting alarms, e-mail alerts, etc. Don’t even waste your time. And try to be understanding when situations like this arise. If you’re supportive and that application or piece of software takes off chances are you’ll get a nice date for all your patience.

2. **Your body/sex appeal are nothing compared to the power of a processor.**

The nice thing about most computer boys is that they don’t typically check out other women. The downside of this is that they don’t notice the other women because they are too busy checking out people’s cell phones and iPods. When it comes to boys and their toys your short mini skirt just can’t compare. Trust me - I have learned this the hard way. Anytime Justin and I set foot in the Apple Store I see the way his eyes light up when he sees a shiny new G5. I see his jaw hit the ground when new operating systems are released. I run after him in my sexy heels as he sprints to be the first one in line to buy a new piece of software. It’s sick and twisted really, but it comes with the territory. I know what you are thinking. Sex. That will turn any guys head, right? Nope! Sorry ladies, it just isn’t going to work. Unless you are sporting a lacy black teddy with an Apple logo on the crotch you really don’t have a chance if there is a project in the works. The plus side of this is that you could probably roll around in his sheets with Brad Pitt and he wouldn’t notice. :-) Seriously, though, this doesn’t mean you aren’t sexy or desirable. I don’t know what it does mean - I’m still trying to figure that out for myself - but rest assured he still loves you.

3. **You will NEVER be the Apple of his eye.**

Ha! Get it? Apple. I’m so funny.

4. **Profanity is his friend.**

You have to learn to put on your earmuffs when it comes to watching him work. I know. You want to be supportive and sit in his office offering kind words of encouragement. Go right ahead! Just be prepared for his response to be something about the $4000 piece of shit computer that isn’t going fast enough or the mother f’ing code that doesn’t work right.

5. **If you love him you will be standing by with a lot of caffeine.**

Red Bull. Bawls. Mountain Dew. Whatever it takes. He is going to need it. The late night brainstorming sessions and all-night coding marathons require some fuel. Nothing would mean more than you showing up on his doorstep with 64 ounces of goodness.

6. **There is no rest for the weary.**

Plan on going to bed alone and waking up alone. Well, unless your bed is right next to the computer, I guess. I have occasionally found Justin in the wee hours of the morning with his head resting on the computer, but that’s the most sleep he’ll get when he is working on something. To be a developer I think you also have to be a perfectionist. This means until every bit of code is complete and flawless he’ll be staring at the computer screen.

7. **Rubies and Pearls are not what you think.**

I once overheard Justin having a conversation with a friend of ours. He made mention of a ruby and a pearl. Seeing as how it was almost my birthday I immediately thought I was in for a great gift. Little did I know they were talking about Ruby on Rails and Perl. Later that week we went out for a Sunday afternoon drive. There is a jewelry store just across the street from the local Barnes and Noble. I, of course, thought we were pulling in to buy some bling. 30 minutes and two O’Reilly books later I figured out that my “birthday gift” was actually how-to manuals for programming languages.

8. **One screen is never enough.**

When Justin first told me he thought he needed not one but two flat-screen monitors I thought he had finally started drinking. What on earth would require two screens? Now he is talking about getting a third! Oddly enough, when I glance over at him grinding away he has both 17 inches covered. So when he says he needs bigger this or better that, just go with it. At least you know he won’t be cheap when it comes to other things.

9. **if (loveBoyfriend = 1 ) {learn();}**

I always thought this coding, development stuff was just nonsense. Then I learned a little bit about it and realized it’s actually very cool. Sometimes I can even offer a little help. The other day Justin spent hours working on something for work. He just couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t coming together. In a spat of frustration he showed me what he was working on. Miraculously, I was able to find the problem. I think it was the proudest he had ever been of me.

10. **There is nothing like being the one there when he completes something new.**

I can honestly say it’s the greatest feeling in the world to be the one there when Justin gets out of the chair (for the first time in weeks) and is beaming at me (through red, puffy eyes) and dying to show me his newest creation. Somewhere between the annoying profanity and the lack of sleep he created something wonderful. So when you get frustrated with him just remember that maybe he’s working on the next Movable Type-ish phenomenon. Wouldn’t you love to be the girl behind the guy on the cover of Macworld?

It looks like Justin is about done with his Rails project. I’m gonna go curl up on the couch and watch a movie with him. And as I fall asleep tonight I’ll thank my lucky stars that my boyfriend is a crazy Apple Developer - the greatest guys in the world. I love you, sweetie.

Ladies, next time you go looking for a man, don’t check out the local bar scene. Think Different.

Friday, July 07, 2006

A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt...

What is criticism? What is change? What is challenges? What is good? What is bad?

I have just finished reading a controversial blog article written by Mark Cuban who is a major IT geek like me turned into a leader of several companies including the Dallas Mavericks. He is also the IT guy behind HDnet and HDTV which is making headways in the Tech industry.
Although criticism is typically perceived as a negative, it can be one of the most positive and motivating forces any of us can experience. The key to turning criticism into a positive is understanding the nature of the criticism.
Daily, I face tremendous amount of criticism in my work as Information Technology is about radicial change and also using technology as a tool for students and teachers. Every time I make a change on the file server, email server or website, there will always been someone who is critical and rather place blame instead of accepting the situation and work around it. As Mark states in his article "People criticized where, when and how I did things. Not a single person criticized or challenged why" which brings to my next topic to the reason why we initate change, why we initate challenges and why we initate criticism.

My school, my culture, my environment is too conservative to obey the changes that come to them. I am living in a culture that very close, people living on the surface, people taking advantage of others, lack of emotional support and leaving little room for peace and patience. I also work in an environment with other foreigners from different wakes of life bringing in different experience of how things should be done. Yes I admit, this is good experience but at the same time with the large range of diversity, it's easily for someone to fall into the negative criticism trap and choose to place irrational blame when something breaks through the status quo or the situational norms.

Here is one of my favorite comments from his web-blog:
I've been thinking about emailing you for a little bit, but I think this is the best chance. I don't wanna harp on you because I think you've been amazing for the Mavericks, but recently you've been under attack for your NBA Finals activity and I think I have a positive solution.

Dealing with the NBA and its refs should be no different than training a dog or raising your children. If you're always telling your kid they are fat, ugly, stupid, etc., they start to believe it (unless that kid has the strength of mind to ignore it--but those kids are rare). If your dog does something good and you reward that behavior, after time, your dog will continue to do that positive behavior.

So, may I advocate for the "positive reinforcement" concept as applied to the NBA's refs. Be public and appreciative about those refs that do good. Mention the bad, but accentuate the positive. These guys are people, and they have to go home at night and explain why Cuban called daddy a bad name. A little positive treatment will go the distance in getting the benefit of the doubt when the benefit is really necessary.

Take it as a suggestion, but I think a different stance could pay dividends later on down the road. And this is my criticism--keep making us proud Mark!!!
I could not agree more. "Positive Reinforcement" is what should make the new breed of criticism because it allows us to feel comfortable with the acceptance of the situation and more or less does not degrade us "human into animals" with no respect for its feelings or existance. That should be how criticism be constructed because its allows us and fellow people like Mark Cuban to initiate healthy change to the masses who follow us.

Click here to read his article and comments from others regarding criticism.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Google Rankings

Wow...

This morning, I googled the word "passionate traveler" and found out that my blog website is ranked 2nd in the searches... WOOT WOOT...

As most of you already know that my wallet was stolen in April leaving me without credit cards, insurance cards, UNIS ID card (the same card to prove I am a United Nations diplomat) and endless peices of yellow post it notes that we keep in our wallets. The sad thing is that I could not renew my www.velox.ca domain in time and later found out that I lost the domain registration to an a@#h@le in Toronto who is holding the name for selling purposes. GRRRRR... Time to register for a new domain.

Other interesting google rankings I found out this morning:

Did a search of my uncle gene's name and of course he is ranked #1 with Golf associated with his name. Indeed, I am not surprised of course.

Did a search of my father and step mother's name and my father's name is more popular with another man in vancouver who has been in the securities and brokage business for 30 years with endless years of service for board of directors, charities, etc... has he been that busy and not tell me? On the other hand, my step mother has endless credits for her work in the Library industry in B.C. Her google name produces 2 full pages of results.. WOW...

Sadly, my mother and my baby brother does not exist on the internet. I have to speak with them about this...

My aunts Susan and Carol are not in the searches but their names come up as judges and lawyer which gave me an amusing smile.

My other uncle Jim has nearly 2 pages of google searches but all of them are related to his retirement from the City of Calgary. That will be a party that I do not want to miss.

All my baby cuzs are not listed at all in any google searches except actors, lawyers, a U-boat captain and a house cleaner... certainly not the occupations that they are doing today.

And the number one family member with the most searches goes to my step father with over 15 pages including websites in japanese as part of his wonderful music career. I hope that he is reading this as it might inspire him to go to each page to check it out. ;)

Why don't you do a search on your own name to see what results may come up and write me a comment.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

When the referee becomes the center of the match...

Watching world cup football has really provided the drama and flair of how much a referee can influence the game. Last night, England was denied to reach the semi finals vs. France (Who later beat Brazil in a 1-0 match) lost to Portugal in a dramatic penalty kick shoot out.

The South American based official change the outcome /flow of the match when he issued a red card to Wayne Rooney for supposely "stamping" on the opponent's testicles. How is this possible? I honestly don't know. Everyone was yelling a foul but the official took in account his own emotions of the result afterwards and brought out the danger colour that no one (fan, players , coaches) wants to see in the playoff finals.

Why did this happen? Was it an intentional hit? Was the referee influence by the moaning and groaning of the Portugal players? If you were watching the match, it was very clear the referee let his decision to be influence by the players and the anger came out rejecting Rooney leaving England to fight with only 10 players left on the field.

You know what they say that World Cup football is the battle of countries, the events where political people watch, events where millions of dollars flow through the air like the wind passing over farmer's fields there is bound to be a level of bribery and corruption behind the people who run the matches, officiate the matches and even though who play the matches.

It stinks and knowing the reality of sports; it occurs everywhere!

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Communist KFC...


The ongoing fierce and brutal boxing match of communism vs. Market economy has traveled from South Vietnam to the north where Hanoi opens its first foreign franchise restaurant. A historic day in the capital where Ho Chi Minh continues to provide the reality of communism and the collectively of Vietnamese people must change it'’s attitude and learn to co-exist with economic influence of non-Vietnamese companies. We are all seeing that Vietnam'’s young population is a large potential market share for social and economical image of American / North American vibrant lifestyle.

KFC open their first restaurant today about two blocks from my apartment building attracting the attention of thousands who lined up outside to get a taste of the deep friend chicken and French fries. Motorbike parking attendants were busy throughout looking after the hundreds of motorbikes of people who been inching their way in to even get a view of Colonel Sanders himself. Watching the foundation pop being pouring into large plastic containers, French fries in the deep fryer and chicken sandwiches being wrapped up in the waxy paper which has been powering the fast food business for many years all over the world.

Despite the dynamic changes that continue to occur in north Vietnam and the corruption that continues to show in various areas, KFC is making a headway in bring the image and the reality of what “western” culture is about. Young people who are used to eating rice and veggies now have change their diet including the bread, mayo, and deep fried chicken are leaving the corner side house style businesses searching for other places to generate their income.

It has been indeed a historical day and I am lucky to be part of this by ordering a medium coke with little ice, French fries and chicken popcorn. Mc-Dicks, may you soon enter the growing market economy in a socialist Vietnam.

Monday, June 19, 2006

The Interview Chronicles

I finished my first day of hour-long interviews at Unis in hoping to headhunt and secure a new young IT trained person to assume the role of the vacant IT Technician position. The interviews went from 8:30 am all the way to 5:30 pm with two short breaks for a lunch and a meeting with senior level management.


The first few morning interviews were really good with the Vietnamese candidates who can understand my level of English, (Phil / Andy - no jokes here!!) tell me a joke, say the word "cool" and of course can complete the IT technical test that I had waiting for them.

There are three Interviews:

  1. Meeting with myself to screen out the level of listening & speaking, pronunciation and vocabulary, and hopefully the honesty behind their answers and their resumes.
  2. Technical interview with two computers. One is the server and one is the client. Their job is to configure network connectivity between the two and detailed configurations that non-technical people do not know how to do. Creating a group of usernames on the server and testing one of those usernames on the client was worth many marks in this interview.
  3. Meeting with myself and the head of the school to determine who would be offered the position in this brutal and grueling interview process.

A special note to this blog was that the last candidate who I interviewed at 4:30 pm last night was the bigger loser and cheater I ever met! During his technical interview, I was in my office and I heard some voices coming from outside the room where the candidate was finishing up his examination. I took a peek around the corner trying not to be noticed and saw that he was talking on his mobifone asking questions in Vietnamese and then clicking on the mouse in a fast fashion as if he understood the answers from his mobifone conversation.

I am sorry to say that this person will not have any jobs working at Unis... ;)

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Last day of school...

I am writing this blog after completing most of my technical requests for the friday morning... I am sitting at my desk feeling numb and tired after a long exhausting and stressful year. Most of my friend teachers are leaving tomorrow or the next day for the unknown as they get their 2 months holidays from teaching. Its going to be a sad but also happy day knowing teachers / friends are leaving but at least its good to know the year is coming to an end.

I will be conducting IT technican interviews on monday and tuesday in hoping to get extra help for the school's IT department and finally have the hope that I will leave this place for the holidays I been longing for.

My last words of wisdom for the students:

As Confucius says: "Wherever you go, go with all your heart"

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

The Key that Unlocks the Door to Happiness

It seems almost too simple to be true, but acceptance -- accepting things exactly as they are -- can be the key that unlocks the door to happiness. After John 3:16, it may be one of the most referenced passages in literature. It's from Page 449 of Alcoholics Anonymous or The Big Book as it is widely known:

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.

Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.

For me, serenity began when I learned to distinguish between those things that I could change and those I could not. When I admitted that there were people, places, things, and situations over which I was totally powerless, those things began to lose their power over me. I learned that everyone has the right to make their own mistakes, and learn from them, without my interference, judgement, or assistance!


God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things
I cannot change,
Courage to change
the things I can,
and the wisdom
to know the difference.

The key to my serenity is acceptance. But "acceptance" does not mean that I have to like it, condone it, or even ignore it. What it does mean is I am powerless to do anything about it... and I have to accept that fact.

Nor does it mean that I have to accept "unacceptable behavoir." Today I have choices. I no longer have to accept abuse in any form. I can choose to walk away, even if it means stepping out into the unknown. I no longer have to fear "change" or the unknown. I can merely accept it as part of the journey.

I spent years trying to change things in my life over which I was powerless, but did not know it. I threatened, scolded, manipulated, coerced, pleaded, begged, pouted, bribed and generally tried everything I could to make the situation better -- only watch as things always got progressively worse.

I spent so much time trying to change the things I could not change, it never once occurred to me to simply accept them as they were.

Now when things in my life are not going the way I planned them, or downright bad things happen, I can remind myself that whatever is going on is not happening by accident. There's a reason for it and it is not always meant for me to know what that reason is.

That change in attitude has been the key to happiness for me. I know I am not the only who has found that serenity.

Written by: Al Anon Member

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Expectations...

I expect nothing, I fear no one.... I am free --Nikos Kazantzakis

Would it surprise you to know that many times the expectations we have of others are born out of our own psyche, and have little to do with the person we have them about?

Expectations in relationships can begin when take our own ideals, standards, and views of things, and project them onto other people. We then anticipate that they will live in accordance with these standards.

Have you ever expected someone to be happy, sad, mad, afraid, or in some other emotional state, and have been surprised when they weren't? After all, that is how you would feel in the same situation. Or maybe you have been confused when you did something nice for someone that you expected them to like, but they weren't showing the enthusiasm about it that you thought they might? It was something you would have appreciated someone doing for you, so why didn't they like it you'd wondered.

As we project our life view onto others, we are assuming that they think and feel in a similar way that we would in the same situation, and we expect them to behave accordingly.

So, when someone close to us eventually does something that appears in deep contrast with the standards we have associated with them, we often feel hurt, betrayed, angry and confused. Our disappointment gets expressed in the kinds phrases we've all heard, or have even spoken ourselves... "I expected more from you", "You are the last person I'd ever have expected to do that", "You really let me down", "This is not like you at all" etc.

We profess this, however, having turned a blind eye to blunt behavioral evidence to the contrary on numerous occasions. We cleverly develop a tunnel vision where we only allow through, information that supports the view we have of who we want that person to be.

The truth is that people show us exactly who they are through their everyday behaviors. We are aware of who they are at a deeper level within us. We need to stop fantasizing and pretending things are not as they are. To stop filtering and begin to pay attention to the reality of what others think and feel, and how they behave. We must acknowledge to ourselves, the truth of who they are as individuals. When we do this we let down the illusory veil we've kept around them, and can thereafter stop the futile behaviors of projecting and expecting.

Take a moment to think about someone for whom you have developed a set of expectations for. How accurate are the assumptions you have made about this person's feelings and behaviors? Can you see that many of your expectations of them really revolve around you and your own feelings, beliefs, hopes, needs, and desires related to the relationship? That these things have been projected onto them? Have you tuned out obvious clues to their authentic personality?

Of course, looking at relationships with others in a more truthful light might reveal a need for making some changes within them, and it can be in human nature to fear and resist change. It usually seems safer and easier to stay in the secure cocoon of our fantasies. But if we remain there we are guaranteeing ourselves more pain from the inevitable let downs of unmet expectations, as how could anyone ever live up to someone else's illusions of them?

When we choose to break the illusion and replace our assumptions and projections with a truthful evaluation, freedom from expectations is carried with it, and the opportunity to begin a more clear and honest relationship is born.

On the flip side, we might sense that we are part of other's illusions at times, and that they have made assumptions, and projections, and have formed expectations of us. There is no way you can be true to yourself while trying to conform to someone else's agenda of course. What could be more of a waste of your authentic self expression than spending time acting out someone else's fantasy!

We hold some responsibility here, not to begin to conform to others manufactured images of ourselves. Sometimes we behave in ways that others think we should out of guilt, fear of not being liked, fear of abandonment (i.e. the relationship ending) or uncertainty ourselves in who we really are.

Might you be contributing to the reinforcement of illusions and projections that others have related to you, that have led them to develop unrealistic expectations of you?

Be real with the people in your life. Let them know who you really are, and how you really feel. As you begin to see and accept them for who they authentically are, gently help them to see through to their own mistaken assumptions and illusory identities they have built around you, to the real you as well.

When we demonstrate the insight and courage to embrace the truth, along with finally putting an end to the pain of constantly being disappointed by unmet expectations of one another, our relationships have the opportunity to become rich in authenticity, trust, and deep emotional bonding.

Author: Coleen Lawrence © 2002

Thursday, June 08, 2006

The day of days...

The days of stress...
The days of defeat...
The days of exhaustion...
The days of destruction...
The days of Anger...
The days of downward spiral...
The days of Hate...
The days of pain and suffering...
The days of devastation...
The day of days...

The thoughts of confusion, hatred, agonize, struggles, and emptiness consumes my mind and soul. The peace and serenity has left my body for greener pastures. I can feel the dark side of life creep along the side of my body looking for swift passage to enter my body making its way to my heart for annihilation.

The anger and hate towards Muslims residing in many countries after the continuous obliteration of life who use terror as means to destroy humanity.

The International financial markets take a plunge on uncertainties of oil which commands our daily lives no matter where we live, where we come from and what we do.

The most beautiful and nonviolent country in the world has been devoted to promote world peace has its dreams and passion shattered by recent world wide intimidation and terrorism leaving the country in doubts about its long standing repetition.

My dearest sibling whose life I treasure and miss dearly finds himself ridden with defeat, exhaustion, confusion, betrayal, fear and lack of self – confidence is moving far away from his family into un-charted waters.

My dearest mother bed ridden from a recent foot surgery giving her the immobility to move around to do what life demands for her for months to come.

My wants to be committed co-worker who wife recently had a baby daughter and knowing that I made the decision his contract is not to be renewed for the next academic school year.

My dearest girlfriend who I really care about is mutually in agreement that we need to break apart from each other as the silly resentments and selfish blames consumes our daily lives that we cannot resolve.

This is what I call the day of days…

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

The Connotation of Stress...

Ongoing stress creates an energetic environment, affecting town and country, spreading from nation to nation, causing disharmony, disease, storms and wars. The heart's intelligence can help to dissipate these negative stressful energies, giving people a fresh start in learning how to get along and live stress free. As enough people learn about emotional fitness, it will cause a global shift into new consciousness that many are talking about, and then quality of life has a chance of becoming better for the whole.

Friday, May 19, 2006

My new toy...

I did a little shopping on the internet and I have spent 8.8 Billion Euro dollars on my new A380-800 toy. It's not exactly going to be ready yet but I do have an order in place and I expect it to land in Hanoi within the end of this year.My initial layout plans was to seat 20 people and have a large indoor street hockey rink so we can play while traveling from Hanoi to Healthrow. After our long exhausting game at 10,000 meters' high, we can watch the NHL finals on the big screen T.V with our specially imported Molson Canadain beverages and a BBQ with a specially designed smoke ventilation system. What do you think? Anyone want in?
"Welcome to Scotty's Airlines, please fasten your seat belt and a sexy flight attendant will shortly come and assist you in making your flight a passionate event you will never forget."

Monday, May 15, 2006

The Metro Sexual adventures continues...

Took the weekend off from any IT devices (Does an I-pod count?) and did absolutely nothing except that Minh Nguyet and I went for a massage at a local high end massage parlor. The experience was amazing and I decided for my readers that I would describe my whole ordeal that happened from 8:00 pm to 10:30 pm.

There are two different kinds of saunas (Dry and Wet)... Pretty weird actually... I would recommend doing the wet experience first before going into the dry. Honestly don't ask me why...

After the sauna, I had this soothing peaceful bath with a Vietnamese male staff (don’t ask questions ok Phil?) wash my back with a wet towel. Vicariously going up and down to the point I was ready to pass out. Once again, I will remind you of the fact I am not gay or metro sexual ok?

Long hot steamy shower where the water comes directly above you instead of mounted on the wall angled towards your head and face. It was sort of something of the scene of survivor with palm trees & coconuts and the scenic ocean in the distance but you know you are not getting voted of the island.

Then the interested Vietnamese male wet towel back rubber asked me to put on a towel and follow him to the elevator. Yes, this place has 10 floors with each floor specialize in a specific function of the treatment cycle. I have to admit I feel like a mad cow going through many examination-test workstations with a Hawaiian Pina Colada in one hand and sun tan lotion in the other. I was greeted by a young Vietnamese women with big hands (I had to do the handshake) as I hoped into the elevator.

On the 6th floor, there were many massage tables with candles, incense, soft music and white towels everywhere. The Vietnamese women asked me to enter this room where she asked me to take off my towel and lie down on the bed head into the massage table hole. At that time, I was sooo sleepy and relaxed (see above) to know that I was standing there naked in front of the massage therapist ready to be beaten softly to death. She placed a blanket on top of me and started working on various body parts (no funny ideas ok Phil?) with massage oil that smells like I feel down a hole full of flowers petals soft and full of flavor. At this point, I have already passed out.

I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and she already asked me to turn around. Once again I passed out while she was working on the front sections (once again no funny ideas ok Phil?)

Finally everything was done and I took a nice warm soothing shower to wash the oil and went back upstairs to visit my newly wanted to be gay Vietnamese male assistance and put back my clothes on before I went downstairs to pay for the bill. Once again, I am not gay or metro sexual.

So yeah… my whole passionate, gay-want to be loving, aroma smelling, calming, relaxing, soothing, gentle massage after a long stressful week, only cost me a merely 20 US dollars. Honestly where can you beat this price? Huh? Well at least I already convince my friends to join me next time to verify that this story is indeed a chronological event that was experienced by the Passionate traveler.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

You were there all the time...

How I feel about my mother is deeper than words can say
I think of courage, beauty, faith, and the kindest person in every way
She helped me feel beautiful and talented when others said I was not
She carried many of my childhood heartaches so a lot of the pain I have now forgot
Unselfishly she concealed her own personal problems so much that to all of us children she always seemed glad
showering color into my life is what she does, especially on days that I am sad
I don't understand how she was able to raise two children all on her own
My mom is truly a queen just minus the throne
There is no word that can define the way I feel about a lady so fine
My mother has taught me about unconditional love, faith and hope
This amazing woman is my mother, my greatest friend, my hero, and I am forever grateful that she is mine


Happy Mother's day!!!!

With Love....
--Scotty
xxoo

Thursday, May 11, 2006

The day of agony…

My rookie manager year has taken another hit leaving me with chaos and questionable repercussions from the management of the school. I was privately asked to investigate one of my members of the IT department for a serious matter that can acutely affect the confidence of users in their usage of IT within the workforce. Keeping a long story short, we had to release the employee for overly abusing his administrative rights on the computer systems and reading other people’s emails.

Initially, I was asked if the system was technically competent of producing an error from our limited email server software that maybe perceived as a hic-up. After three days of my cyber-detective skills, I manage to rule-out the technical glitches and found out that one of my own employees did in fact read email transmissions between two senior managers and my communications between myself and my boss. I can visualize the long hours sitting in the Building 7 conference room with older members of the administration who know nothing about technical cyber investigation relying on me to show them the facts in a non-technical way. After proving and securing the hard evidence (yes we did put a tape around the crime scene and dusted for finger prints) I was asked to bring him over to the Head of the School’s office for questioning. After a long two hours, he still denied how he was technically able to read the email messages but finally confessed to opening emails that were not intended to be delivered to him. His final answer was that he was looking for information in regards to the school’s pension plan for the local staff.

My feelings of this event have completely traumatized me where I am trying my best to build and maintain a 300 computer network and protect the data from un-authorized access. It is my responsibility as a manager to be accountable for what happened and to effectively deal with the issues and set the school’s IT systems into a better position. I am currently down one person who was very technically knowledgeable and educated leaving me to perform two job positions until we hire another IT staff member. I have already drafted a re-organization document with more comprehensive job descriptions which hopefully bring more structure into the young IT department. I know it’s something that the school has been loathing for months.

This situation has brought more inspiration and enthusiasm into my job because I am no longer setting up a school’s infrastructure but merely to secure and bring in the policies needed to maintain the infrastructure that gets heavily used by nearly 1000 people per school day.

I am very disappointed of the loss but relieve of the self mental gain in my management skills and realize what is needed to further my career and education in this volatile and dynamic information technology world.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Remembering Tiger's Dad...

The following interview appeared in the February, 2004 issue of Golf Digest.

Clubs like Augusta National don't discriminate. They just don't want you. There's a difference. It's a bitch not being wanted by something or someone, which is why divorces are so difficult. But I've learned to handle rejection very well. If you love yourself enough, you won't give a damn if they want you or not.

Tiger's birthday is Dec. 30, which meant he got presents at Christmas and another batch five days later. When he was 5, he started claiming he got only half a Christmas and half a birthday. He thought we bought one batch of presents and split them. I never could convince him otherwise. He left Santa Claus out of the debate and focused on Tida and me. He did get more presents. Smart kid.

When we Green Berets were in Alaska on maneuvers for a long time, nothing tasted better than hobo coffee. We'd fill a can with water, boil it, pour in some coffee and let it brew. When it was done, we'd throw a little snow in the can, which made the grounds instantly settle to the bottom. At that point we'd dip our cups. Then we'd pour in more water and brew the same grounds. We'd do this over and over. None of the grounds got in the cup, and we'd get 10 batches of coffee from a handful of grounds.

I was in the recovery room after my heart operation, with my wife and Tiger by my side. Suddenly I was in this tunnel with a bright light at the end. It got brighter, but there was no sense of moving toward it. I felt better than I ever did my entire life. Then a voice says, "Are you all right?" and it jarred me back to this Earth. Next thing I know the nurse -- it was her voice; she'd rushed in -- was jacking me full of adrenaline. My blood pressure had gone almost to zero, and I had, in fact, died for a second. It scared the hell out of Tiger. Me, all I felt was a momentary pang of regret that I was back in the hospital. That tunnel was so peaceful, just like people describe. I haven't feared death since.

At age 6, Tiger signed for a wrong scorecard. It was at the Junior World in San Diego, on the par-3 Presidio Hills course. He made a par on a hole, but the scorekeeper for the group put down a birdie. Tiger signed his card and was disqualified. Afterward, making sure Tiger was standing right there, I lectured the scorekeeper. Tiger stood there scowling, like, You tell 'em, Dad. But the lecture was for show; I winked at the scorekeeper as I talked. I wheeled on Tiger, and in a stern tone asked, "Did you sign this?" Tiger said, "Yes." I said, "Did you check it?" Now Tiger looked nervous. "No, Daddy." I told him to never trust anyone else with your scorecard. Never. Tiger's little eyes were as big as teacups. That was the end of it. He hasn't signed a wrong scorecard since.

Tiger was 4. I'd say, "Why are you hitting your ball over there, Tiger?" And he'd say, "Because there's a sand twap." "Why are you going that way?" "Because there's wawa." It was course management. To this day, it may be his greatest strength.

Tiger had a stuttering problem in the first grade. Tida and I couldn't figure out why. Even the speech therapist was stumped. Then it dawned on us: Tida talked to him in Thai, and I talked to him in English. When Tiger spoke, he talked in English. The thing was, he didn't want to listen or speak in Thai. His mind was rebelling. We stopped talking in Thai, and his stuttering ceased.

Here's how you teach a child to putt. Place a ball in their right hand and have them stand sideways, like you do at address. Ask them to swivel their head sideways and look at the hole. Ask them, "Do you see the picture?" Have them look down and back up at the target two more times, allowing them to ingrain that picture in their minds. Now say, "Toss the ball across your body to the picture." It works. It makes putting intuitive. The first time I tried it with Tiger, he tossed the ball to within six inches of the hole. When I eventually handed him a putter, he did even better. He used this technique to make the crucial putt on the third playoff hole against Ernie Els in the Presidents Cup.

When Venus Williams won Wimbledon, there was her father, standing up with a sign that read, "It's Venus' party, and no one's invited." I couldn't imagine doing something like that. It would embarrass Tiger, and it would embarrass me. It infuriates me when people compare me to Richard Williams, because I don't respect him.

If you're seven-eighths Irish and one-eighth Indian, you're Irish. If you're seven-eighths Irish and one-eighth black, you're black. Why is that?

Years ago the Army sent me to Germany. My first wife came with me. A landlord took us downtown to show us an apartment. And we caused a traffic jam. I mean gridlock. People got out of their cars, pointing at us as though we were aliens. I asked the landlord what they were talking about. "They're looking for your tails," he said. "When the white soldiers came through here in World War II, they told us black people had tails." Now, you can't blame the Germans for thinking we had tails. But it bothered me that American soldiers would perpetuate such a thing.

I could quit smoking if I wanted to. I have tremendous willpower. A while back I quit for 18 months. But then I went to my daughter's college graduation. Got stuck in my ex-wife's house with all her relatives. I snapped and lit up. Been smoking ever since.

Lying about your score or cheating at golf is really stealing. They constitute the worst kind of stealing, which is stealing from yourself. There is no end to the misery this brings on a person. I taught this to Tiger at a very young age, and to this day he's incapable of lying. He may not give you a full answer, but he never lies. The one time Tiger lied as a boy, he got physically ill.

When you get angry, you give up power. You allow outside influences to harm your greatest asset -- yourself. That's why I've gotten angry at someone only twice in my life. The subject of my anger I'll keep to myself. But that person said it was very frightening.

My mother told me I was as good as anybody else, but to have an equal chance, I'd have to do better than the next person. She told me never to judge anybody, to devote myself to being proactive, positive and constructive. That's how I've run my life, and as a result I haven't had time to feel bitter or hostile about the inequities associated with being a black man in America.

Race consciousness and prejudice will never disappear in America. It can't, because it's embedded in our language. A minute ago you referred to "little white lies." Why isn't it a "little black lie?" Why is it blackmail and not "whitemail?" Why do good guys wear the white hats? Invariably, the word black is used to refer to something derogatory, dangerous or inferior. It creates a stigma, and so long as it exists -- and I can't imagine it ever changing -- there will be a separation between black and white.

I was watching a documentary about the famine in Ethiopia. Tiger, who was 4, saw the distended bellies and the inability of the children to even swat flies off their faces. Tiger disappeared into his bedroom and came back with his gold-coin collection. "Daddy, can we give this to help those little kids?" I accepted it, and sent the cash equivalent to a doctor friend who was serving in Ethiopia. Tiger doesn't know it, but I still have those gold coins. One day, when the time is right, I'll give them back to him and recall that moment, which brought tears to my eyes.

Food has to taste good, look good and smell good to be good. Collard greens, contrary to what Fuzzy Zoeller said, don't fit the bill.

I love golf, but my first love was baseball. I was a catcher. When I was 12, Roy Campanella and Satchel Paige came through town on a barnstorming tour. They let me be the bat boy because my dad was the scorekeeper. While they were warming up, I asked Roy if I could catch Satchel. He handed me his mitt and said, "Don't hurt yourself, boy." I said, "Don't worry. I've got a major-league arm." Campanella giggled at that. I said, "By the way, tell Satch that after he throws his last pitch, he'd better duck, because I'm gonna throw the ball right through his chest. Roy just shook his head. Satch's first pitch came in real easy. I threw it back harder than he threw it to me. Satch threw the next one harder. So did I. By the time he threw his last warm-up pitch, he was really bringing it. And when I caught it, I sprang out of my crouch and threw it right where Satchel's chest was. You better believe he got out of the way. The second baseman caught the ball ankle-high, on the right-hand side of the bag. Roy said, "Boy, you really do have a major-league arm." I did have a good arm. And I can say that I caught the great Satchel Paige.

My mother insisted that I speak in good, clear English. No sloughing off on my e's, f's and t's. Learn good grammar. If I had said "ax" when I meant "ask," she would have been all over my case. Today, I concur with Thurgood Marshall -- there is nothing wrong with speaking the language of your culture when you're within that culture. But to be upwardly mobile in society, one must learn to speak the best English that one can.

Yes, Tiger is known to swear on the course. You can't have it both ways. You can't have the fire, intensity, competitiveness and aggressiveness if you don't blow off steam. Profanity is the language of youth. I don't say it's right, I just say that's the way it is.

Before I left for my second tour of Vietnam, the Army assigned a demolitions expert to me. This man was an expert at hurting people, and he loved his work. He was a genius at creating special booby traps and tripwires, all sorts of custom-made devices designed to inflict maximum pain and damage. It's all he talked about. We'd send him out to prepare a perimeter, and in an hour he'd come back with a look of great satisfaction on his face. "Nobody's coming through there, sir," he'd say, and I knew he meant it. I was glad he was on our side, but eventually I was glad to get away from him. He scared the hell out of me.

The secret to being a good player is balance. I don't mean keeping your equilibrium. I mean placing an equal emphasis on driving, iron play, short game and putting. It's the most obvious thing, but very few players have balance. And almost nobody works to correct it.

Most people cannot or will not discuss their combat experiences. It's too traumatic and painful for them. I saw all the things you see in war -- dead bodies, brains all over the place, friends dying -- and I can talk about it. I had a mind-set that this was war, and that it doesn't make a lot of sense, but I had a job to do. I didn't overanalyze it. I loved myself too much to let it take something away from me.

Many times I've been in bed and it's 1 a.m. and I'm tired but don't want to go to sleep because I don't want the day to end. My goal is to enjoy every minute of every day, squeeze every bit out of it that I can. I have a hard time looking ahead because I'm so involved with what's going on right now. I love living life.

To a golfer at Tiger's level, a good caddie is as important as a good wife. There has to be a chemistry between the two, and the caddie must have great technical ability. There cannot be one shred of doubt in the player's mind that what the caddie is suggesting is correct. Some people think the caddie is overrated. I see it just the opposite.

Many years ago I attended a self-help seminar. One of the exercises concerned money. They asked us to write down on a piece of paper the material things we desired to have in a two-week period. Then we wrote down what we wanted in a month, three months, six months, a year and five years down the road. I forgot about the seminar, and 10 years later I accidentally came across my lists. I laughed, because I had everything I'd wanted. On the list was a sports car. Well, I had two. I also put down that I wanted $10,000 in the bank. I had a lot more than that. These things seemed as far away as the moon when I wrote them down. They in fact were right around the corner.

The Bible says the love of money is the root of all evil, but I'm not so sure. There are a lot of poor countries with all the evil you'd want. The desire for power is much more corruptive.

The worst part of getting older is realizing what you could have accomplished if you'd known then what you know now. Every old person, no matter how content they seem, feels that sense of regret. It's a bitch, but it's part of life. So be nice to me.

I acquired some knowledge of geopolitics through my two tours of Vietnam. I can unequivocally say that as hairy as things are in Iraq, the situation would be apocalyptic if we pulled out. Civil war, reprisals and bloodshed like you can't imagine. I support our involvement there totally, for humanitarian reasons. At a minimum.

Listen to Tiger when he loses. He does it graciously. He acknowledges that the other guy was the better golfer that day. The one thing he doesn't say is that the other guy was better over all.

Tiger has tried all kinds of creative ways to get me to give up cigarettes. I appreciate that, but he might as well be talking to a tree. We have an understanding. When our plane lands in Hong Kong, Tiger gets the baggage. I go to the curb and smoke.

Tiger and I were in our motel at a junior tournament. He was 11. Out of the blue he asked, "What's male menopause?" We talked about it for an hour. Then he asked, "What's the immigration policy of Australia?" That took another hour. Tiger then said, "Dad, what's ... " I didn't let him finish. I put his butt in bed.

There's one thing about my smoking that Tiger has either forgotten or never listened to in the first place. I don't inhale.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Kindred: Remembering Earl Woods as caring, not carried away

He once predicted his famous golfing son would “do more than any other human in history to change the course of humanity.” He compared Tiger Woods to Gandhi and Nelson Mandela, telling TV Guide that meeting Mandela “was the first time Tiger met a human being who was equal to him … who was as powerful as he is.”

Clearly, Earl Woods could get carried away. That was never much of a secret, even to those of us in the farm belt. So when he came to Bloomington in June 2001, as guest speaker for a BroMenn Foundation event at Illinois Wesleyan, a question begged: Was Woods’ perspective only occasionally missing in action, or lost altogether?

The answer came during an interview hours before Woods’ Shirk Center appearance. A few minutes in, it was apparent this was not a delusional maniac, but a loving father who shared far more than golf with his superstar son.

Earl Woods spoke of a Tiger only he knew on that Thursday afternoon, revealing that beneath the sweet swing and major championships was a guy with vices and flaws, just like you and me.

He told of a Tiger who at 9 years old reveled in playing tackle football with friends on a school parking lot, com-ing home with a broad smile and bloodied elbows and knees. Once, he returned to the doorstep in his friends’ arms, having run into a tree while chasing a punt.

Earl Woods admitted being embarrassed at Tiger’s childhood Christmas programs, saying, “He can’t carry a tune in a bucket.” The elder Woods added his son “has very little rhythm,” and that he grew up loving cartoons, video games, junk food and rap music.

This was a father who groomed his son for greatness on greens and fairways throughout the country, yet also played Nintendo with him (and lost) back at the hotel.

Likely, those moments are foremost in Tiger Woods’ mind today as he deals with his father’s death. Earl Woods died of cancer Wednesday at age 74, having seen his son evolve from a kid who feasted on tacos and McDonald’s hamburgers into the best golfer on the planet.

Earl Woods played a huge role in that development, supplying training, love and support. Tiger Woods was a natural from the beginning, appearing on the “Mike Douglas Show” at age 2 and shooting a 48 on the back nine of a public course as a 3-year-old.

Yet, his father provided the tools to hone those skills and feed Tiger’s passion, part of Earl Woods’ “game plan” for his son. They were in the car and in hotels a lot together, traveling to and from amateur tournaments from their California home.

Eventually, trophies and medals won in relative obscurity were replaced by multimillion-dollar paychecks and titles on a world stage. Earl Woods said in 2001 he saw it coming all along, and was determined to “prepare Tiger for responsibility.”

“I knew what Tiger was going to be … how good he was going to be and what he would do to the game of golf,” Earl Woods said that day. “The plan was for up close and personal support, and then as he matured and was able to handle the responsibility, to turn things over to him and pull back.”

The elder Woods did so in 2000, and Tiger won three of the four major championships. He was ready for what-ever pressures the game and his celebrity status could throw at him, just as Dad envisioned.

Earl Woods also looked forward to the day Tiger, through his charitable Tiger Woods Foundation, could have “an impact on children’s lives throughout the world,” and thus help “change the course of humanity.”

He did not live to realize that dream, and now must oversee its progress from heaven. He earned his place there, not by producing a sports legend, but joining Kultida Woods in raising a respectful and responsible son.

Earl Woods wasn’t crazy … just crazy about his child and what they gave one another.

There is no sweeter victory, even for Tiger Woods...

Saturday, April 29, 2006

My baby brother...

It has been a hard week swallowing the news that my baby brother of 19 years has seriously relapsed in his hard fighting sober years of drug using. Hearing the news over the phone and reading the late night emails has brought emotions and thoughts of the horrors that ravage my intermediate and extended family in the last 6 years.

Naturally and for a long time, I was used to these little relapsed as if they were "hic-ups" and a few weeks later, everything would turn out well without much attention or shock to the world that surrounds him. But this relapse incident is no longer an incident, it was bang, a climax, a scene from a big action movie where the audience was unsure what the consequences or what will happen next.

I hated the fact that I heard that we may lose him. He may be going down a short path like Anakin Skywalker when he was seduced to the "Dark Side of the Force". Yes, I know that Darth Vader is the biggest villian ever to be selected in the world of movies but having thoughts of my baby brother turning into such person? It was the hardest feeling I have to take in thinking that I may actually lose my baby brother who I spent most of my dear life being a big brother and his best friend who always cared about him.

I was a big brother who wanted him to be in all the sports teams.I was a big brother who want him to be the best. I was a big brother who had the motivation and compassion to be there like Earl Woods watching his son "Tiger" swing golf balls beating out the competition. Sports such as Basketball, football, hockey, baseball, wrestling, golf, boxing, and every other sport that he could try and excel to the best of his ability.

The thought of failure consumes me like a windy Kansas tornado cloud rapidly covers me from head to toe thinking "What could I have done?"

I love him sooo much that writing this blog entry does brings soft tears running down my cheeks and sliding down my neck while my shaky hands tremble on the keyboard. The emotions and thoughts of the great life that we both used to share flashes back into your mind tries to overcome the reality of the dark side that steered our course in the last 6 years.

Living in Vietnam has not help my situation as I am suffering from an open wound that I expected that sometime would be fully closed and I could return to the days of peace and tranquility that was the driving force of a brotherhood relationship.

My initial reaction was to take a leave of absence from my work and depart for Canada to offer my big brother love to tell him that I am still there in your heart as Scotty who always, always, always will be your big brother regardless. Fighting with the reality of powerless and mental health, this event may not happen for many days to come.

The streets of Mui Ne...

Tonight Minh Nguyet and I will travel down to HCMC and spend one night in the hotel before we head out to the east coast. We will be taking the Train in the morning from HCMC to a small town called Phan Thiet which is an economical and logistic hub for one of the famous beaches in Vietnam. Within a 20 minute drive we will be relaxing and reading books on a beach called Mui Ne watching the ocean and the waves crashing into the shore living its mark in mother nature. Mui Ne beach is known to be a tourist area for the American GI who took a break from the fighting against the the Northern Communist Viet Cong Army. I just found out today that Tiger Woods's father who was an Army commander spend some of his luxious holidays in Mui Ne so we hope to enjoy what it has to offer.

Another key note for this blog is that Happy Liberation day for Vietnam in their success against the Americans in 1975.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Why the f@#$ am I out here guarding this truck full of cheesecake?

The best war journalism puts its audience in close proximity to combat. It's hard to imagine getting closer than The War Tapes does.

Shot by soldiers on consumer-grade digital video cameras, the documentary offers an immersive, sobering and often shocking slice of life (and death) in Iraq. It premieres this week at the Tribeca Film Festival and opens in select cities this summer.

Director Deborah Scranton described War Tapes as the result of a "virtual embed." She gave cameras to 10 Iraq-bound soldiers, and then used e-mail and instant messaging to provide them with advice on technique and technical issues.

By the end of their yearlong tour of duty, the soldiers, all from New Hampshire's National Guard, had sent Scranton 800 hours of what she considered thoughtful, often beautifully shot, footage.

"They became journalists," Scranton said. "This isn't like soldiers making home movies. This was a process, a conscious effort for us to together tell the experience of what it means to go to war."

Most of the footage, including hours of road shots, was mundane. But with their cameras constantly rolling, the soldiers captured plenty of revealing and terrifying moments of the kind a drop-in journalist couldn't.

In one scene, soldiers are caught in a firefight. The camera spins wildly while we hear the harrowing cries of "Man down! Man down!" In another, GIs are ambushed during the siege of Fallujah. They chase down and kill the insurgents, then photograph and film the corpses.

And upon arriving on the scene of a vicious car bombing in Taji, an obviously shaken Steve Pink, one of the film's three main subjects, continued to film.

"We made the news," said Pink while watching CNN footage of the bombing later that night. "I feel exploited and proud at the same time."

Frontline producer Martin Smith said TV coverage of Iraq has been severely constrained by war's danger and unpredictability.

"It's so unlike any other war, and I've heard this from people who covered Vietnam," said Smith, who has been to Iraq four times since the U.S. invasion and is preparing for a trip to Afghanistan. "There is no place you can retreat from the danger. Print journalists and photojournalists are relying heavily on Iraqi and Arab stringers to do the work."

The film is another example of participatory journalism, Smith said, made possible by cheap cameras and the growing number of people who know how to use them.

With the Pentagon shutting down unauthorized blogs, it's no surprise that some of the footage shot for the film didn't survive the military's vetting process. One confiscated tape included a graphic scene from the Fallujah firefight.

But plenty of mind-blowing content did find its way into War Tapes, thanks mostly to its filmmakers' unprecedented access.

"I'm not supposed to talk to the media," one soldier said when Pink tried to interview him. "I'm not the media, dammit!" Pink replied.

Sgt. Zack Bazzi, another of the film's three main subjects, paid little mind to the camera while on patrol. In an interview with Wired News, he said he'd strap Scranton's Sony PC109 camera onto the dash of his Humvee and then go about his business.

"Sooner or later you forget about it," he said. "Especially in a combat situation, when there are many different things you worry about -- the soldiers I'm in charge of, possible bad guys out there on the road.

"I'd be crossing the ethical boundaries if I acted a certain way in front of the camera instead of focusing my full attention on leading my men and accomplishing my mission. The behavior you see is genuine."

As a result, War Tapes feels far more raw and political than network coverage. One of its main targets is KBR, a Halliburton-owned military contractor that the soldiers suspect of war profiteering.

"Why the fuck am I out here guarding this truck full of cheesecake?" asked Mike Moriarty, another of the film's central subjects. "The priority of KBR making money outweighs the priority of our safety."

But War Tapes is no Michael Moore rant. Scranton said one of her main goals was to deepen and complicate our conception of the war, not politicize it.

Bazzi thinks the film succeeds in providing a more nuanced portrait of Iraq and of the soldiers fighting there.

"Are things rosy? Are there butterflies flying around little squirrels and people hugging us?" he said. "No. But are we killing babies and destroying the whole country? Absolutely not.

The Silence Protest

Something caught my eye this morning... I will let your eyes decipher it's connotation.

Manifestación pública de protesta por la exterminación de animales para la fabricación de prendas de piel.

Barcelona, 01.21.2006

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Flames Burn Ducks With Three-Goal Barrage To Take Series Lead


(Sports Network) - Kristian Huselius registered a goal and two assists as the Calgary Flames defeated the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim, 5-2, at the Pond to take a 2-1 lead in their best-of-seven Western Conference quarterfinal. Game 4 will be played Thursday in Anaheim.

Robyn Regehr tallied a goal and an assist and Miikka Kiprusoff made 27 saves for Calgary, which won in Anaheim for just the second time in its last 14 tries. Daymond Langkow, Chuck Kobasew and Darren McCarty added goals for the Flames.

"The first couple of games we were a little tight," said Flames captain Jarome Iginla. "Tonight we were more relaxed, more determined and enjoying the playoffs. This is what it's all about."

Francois Beauchemin scored both of the Ducks' goals and Scott Niedermayer added two assists but Jean-Sebastien Giguere stopped 19 shots for Anaheim, which gave up three power-play goals.

"We have no room for mistakes next game or throughout the rest of the series," said Giguere. "We have nothing to lose. We have overcome challenges before during the season and this will be no different."

Calgary drew first blood with 5:59 left in the opening frame while on the man advantage when Langkow beat Giguere top shelf with a wrister from the left circle for a 1-0 lead.

Anaheim answered with 2:34 left in the first period while on the power play after Beauchemin beat Kiprusoff top shelf with a one-timer from the right point to make it 1-1.

Calgary regained the lead 1:25 into the second period while on the man advantage when Huselius poked a rebound past Giguere's glove side for a 2-1 lead.

The Ducks netted the equalizer 8:16 into the middle stanza after Beauchemin beat Kiprusoff glove side with a one-timer from the high slot to make it 2-2.

Calgary, however, scored the next three goals to establish a commanding lead.

The Flames took the lead for good with 4:26 left in the second period when Kobasew's wrister squirted through Giguere's five hole for a 3-2 advantage.

Calgary upped its lead 4:59 into the final frame when McCarty stuffed the disc past Giguere glove side along the ice for a 4-2 lead. The Flames capped the scoring less than a minute later while on the power play after Regehr beat Giguere stick side with a wrister from the left circle to make it 5-2.

Game Notes

For the first time in its eight playoff series, Anaheim played Game 3 with the series tied...The home club had won all four meetings during the regular season...Giguere fell to 16-7 in 23 career playoff outings...Calgary finished 3-for-7 on the power play, while Anaheim went 2-for-9.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Someone got to die before action is taken...


"April 6 2003. I have been shot at, gassed, chased by soldiers, had sound grenades thrown within metres of me, been hit by falling debris and been in the way of a 10-tonne D-9 that didn't stop. As we approached, I kept expecting a part of my body to be hit by an 'invisible' force and shot of pain. It took a huge amoung of will to continue. I wondered what it would be like to be shot, and strangely I wasn't too scared. It is strange to know that each night people are shot and killed for breaking military curfew, and in the darkness on the north west side there is an Israeli settlement and a few hundred metres away with military snipers in between and any one of the four of us could be being watched through a sniper's sights at this moment. The certainty is that they are watching, and it is in the decision of any one Israeli soldier or settler that my life depends. I know that I'd probably never know what hit me, but it's part of the job to be as visible as possible." Five days after he wrote these words, Tom Hurndall was shot by Israeli forces and later died.

Click here to read the rest of this article...

Thursday, April 06, 2006

It's not always about the locals...

Just a few days ago I had my wallet stolen. It was my fault as I thought I was not careful enough to protect it from being picked pocketed.

Minh Nguyet and I went shopping for some jeans that I wanted to get for my baby brother in my upcoming trip to Canada. While I was trying on some jeans, I came out with my wallet in my hand and show her that the jeans fit. I then went back and tried on the second pair and this time left my wallet in the first new pair that I wanted to buy. Went I went back in to change into my original pair of jeans, I realized that my wallet was gone.

I told Minh Nguyet what happened and it was too late because the Vietnamese people in the store are not going to help. After talking with the manager about what happened, they flipped the blame on us for accusing them for not taking care of the customer.

This incident certainly hurts lots because part of my salary from March was in there along with my UNIS ID card, credit card, debit card, receipts from Singapore, etc... Indeed not a good day for me. Even now, I refuse to go on that street because of that incident.

Just the other day, we were driving on the highway out to the countryside to visit Minh Nguyet's grandfather's grave we had to slow down in the traffic as a fatality just happened 100 meters of us. Well guess what? Out of my own eyes, I saw two pickpockers working in between the motorbike traffic stealing wallets and purses from drivers as they slowly move around the accident scene. They were slowly opening personal bags, grabbing the money and then throwing them into a big garbage container next to the road. I saw one in action, and I screamed what the F@#$ are you doing? The one pick pocketer stopped his action and started screaming at me in Vietnamese and walked off. We then later drove up to a victim and told her that she been picked pocketed and her wallet already in the garbage cleaned out. She was shocked!!!

A good thing that Minh Nguyet stopped me from getting off the motorbike to confront the pick pocketer because I would have ended up in more trouble because people will lie and if you don't know the language, it will not help to resolve the situation.

I took a day or two to reflect on these incidents because it was the third pick pocketing within weeks of each other that was involved or close to. I had to ask myself why these events are spreading like wild fire and you are so hopeless or powerless to do something about it.

I can easily blame the pick pockets and label them as common criminals who are in desperation for money. The local Vietnamese people residing in these dangerous areas are lurking on the streets in broad daylight taking advantage of others because of their desperation for money. The question of why has crossed my mind and it is clear that their background has been unstable and rough that they have to turn to crime to fulfill their poor lifestyle or drug habits.

On the other hand, why was no one doing anything about it? It was sooo clear that 20 other motorbike people saw what was happening but no one did a thing about it? Why Why Why? What happen to the principles of respect, kindness, caring, and good heart for one another? After all you are the same race, come from the same background, same countryside and even perhaps from the same family.

Why did someone not contact the police? Why did someone not scream that your neighbor's wallet getting picked pocketed? Why did anyone not do anything?

I just realized that I am living in a culture that is very closed and its about keeping everything inside and restricting the amount of information to others. When it comes to helping someone else, it has no relevant value to do so. Just simply continue with your unhappy and hopeless lives knowing sooner or later someone going to take advantage of you when you least expect it.

Everyone is poor, the gap between the rich and the poor is very big, the police don't care because they are getting paid s@$% wages and they turn to corruption to increase their salaries. The government claims they are fighting corruption but in reality they are fighting with themselves protecting their corrupted investments and salaries.

I said to Minh Nguyet, it going to be a long time before Vietnam stabilize and become an attractive country to do business with. Yes, everyday something changes but until the government acts for their people instead of themselves, both locals and foreigners will still have to suffer from such day to day crimes and dishonesty until non-corrupted law enforcement enters the society.

Another strong thought that brought me tears is that I have met many good Vietnamese people who are optimistic and are motivated for something better in their lives. They have realized that their country is in chaos and want out because there is no hope and faith in their own government for them to have a protected and prosperous future. While we have ambitious people in one side of the world, Its not fair that people in my own country who are complete slackers and take advantage of the western culture system not realizing that there are people who are suffering from corruption, lack of food, lack of shelter, lack of clean water and importantly the lack of hope that their lives will improve despite their impoverish conditions.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Streaming Eagle Web Cam

A family relative email me a streaming Eagle Web Cam that is open 24 hours. Click here to check it out.